soul searching...

is that what its called?  self improvement?  all this that i constantly blog about, think about, talk about... it kind of annoying, right?  you've gotta be annoyed b/c i know i annoy myself.  yet i still cant help it.

so updates again:
-yep still didnt cut up that credit card.  maybe i just cant.  unfortunately i do enjoy shopping.  ive been better about not online shopping at all (deleted email notifications and zulily app).  and really doing better about thinking about necessity.  i go into a place with a list (ex: black maxi skirt, cut off shorts, pillows).  i really try to stick to my list.  i will say if i really love something i still get it, but at least im not buying 5 target tshirts in every color just b/c.  my sister in law and i had a discussion last night and it made me feel better that since im cutting down shopping, its okay to have that splurge every once in awhile when i do go.
-budget.. im still just writing down what im spending.  it helps to keep me in check.
-still no drinking :)  im having a tea party this weekend.  although my mom asked if she could bring baileys for her coffee.  it might be a drunken tea party.
-cell phone... i did go into at&t and try to get a nonsmart phone.  for some reason i cant do that with our sharing plan?? i still dont understand why.  but pretty much he said soon everything will be a smart phone.  since i gave up instagram for lent i really feel i dont use my phone as much.

so all of this (besides alcohol) just takes willpower and self control.  i dont have to get rid of my credit card or phone... i just need to be strong enough to limit myself.  i have issues with obsessions but the past few weeks im doing better of limiting these things.  hopefully that will continue.

i follow a few minimalist blogs.  this one is the main one i follow:
http://bemorewithless.com/

i follow her on fb and she posted this today to her other blog and i love it!
http://theproject333.com/change/

i really would like to start this challenge april 1.  i get motivated to do it, then a few days later i think 'maybe heathers right ;) im too hard on myself'.  and i go shopping.

one thing i keep saying I WANT TO BE LIKE but just dont do is teaching my daughter that looks and material things dont matter.  i think i posted an article a few years ago about us always telling girls how cute they are and commenting on looks.  when we should be commenting on how nice they are to a friend or ask them about what book they like etc.  im guilty!  and ive noticed hazel checking herself out in a mirror or even commenting on what im wearing to make me feel good.  talking to my sister in law last night again made me realize how badly im doing these things i dont want to.  i told her how hazel is picky about what she wants to wear etc and my neice could care less.  how awesome!  shes 4!  she shouldnt care!  kids are supposed to care about what fort they are going to build next or how much fun they are having spending time with friends.  so i think committing to this challenge would be good for me.  shopping less, using what we have, not concentrating on what the hell we are wearing, so i can enjoy what im doing!!  honestly, how shallow is it to worry so much about what you are wearing?  if im worried about what others think of what im wearing, am i judging them on their appearance too?  YUCK!!!!

i tell you, i get way too deep about the dumbest stuff ;)  but obviously it means something to me.  i want to be better.

APRIL 1ST!!!  who wants to join me in this challenge???

ive been meaning to post...

but time gets away from me.  hazel has been sick constantly and ive been napping when she does due to bad nights of sleep.

so lets talk about progress with my new years goals:
-no credit card.... uhhhh i still havent done it.  i initially kept it to buy hazels bed.  then i spun out of control AGAIN!  ive been having quite the battle with this one.  one day i am SO ready to cancel it, then the next i wanna SHOP and dont care.  YOLO raymee says :)  so true... but i might living once maybe shouldnt consist of so many material items.  i am on the kick to cancel it again.  i will as soon as i make all my returns.  i want those hundreds of dollars back from target.  not in gift cards that will just make me want more clothes!

-make a budget.... im not sure if its exactly a budget, but im writing down everything i spend and how much i make.  i think just tracking it helps me to see how much im spending.  i did it for tyson too but he never moved past january.

-pay off car by end of year.... until i complete that first goal, this wont happen.  but its definitely still doable.  hopefully work will stay steady and i can make this happen.

-no drinking... this was my big goal.  ive done it!  and loving it!!

ive also been working out hardcore at least 4x at the gym and now that its warmer we are bike riding, walking, and outside more.  we are in the lenten season and i gave up instagram which i usually check a zillion times a day.  its actually not hard at all.  id really like to give my smart phone up all together.  personally i feel like many people (including myself) post pics, statuses, etc as a way of bragging or showing off.  sometimes it is okay to share your accomplishments but i think we do it too much and look for that satisfaction of LIKES or comments.  too much pinteresting and wanting things (clothes for me).  TOO MUCH MEDIA and too easy to access.  its exhausting.  that is totally just my opinion.  its not a problem for most people.  but i feel like if i didnt have it i would make much better use of my time.  i obviously have no self control to just limit myself, so like drinking, i need to completely cut it out (and like my credit card too) :)

okay, done rambling with my opinions.  enjoy this sunshiny day!