my brother rocks

my brother recently created a rather touching blog entry that i wanted to share.  please support stamp out cancer in anyway!

big head baby

so i cant remember what i updated on in my last blog (and apparently im too lazy to look), so ill just give you info on the last month.  hazel started pulling up around her birthday and really loves to be standing a lot of the time now.  this week she has started moving her feet while standing-so a few steps here and there while holding on to things, but not sure if its considered 'cruising' since she really doesnt cruise too far.  last friday we had a booster flu shot and pt appt.  i asked them to recheck her head measurement and it went up again 2% in a month.  not a lot, but still shouldnt be going up that much in a month i guess.  so her head is now in the 95% which i guess is considered macrocephaly.  the dr was going to her sons christmas concert so we didnt get to talk to her.  so we went on to pt and i thought she had improved so much in a month and to me doesnt seem as 'floppy'.  maybe i read the pt wrong, but she didnt seem as impressed with hazel this month as i was.  and she mentioned some inserts for hazels shoes once she starts walking or something...  i sometimes feel like she is worried more than she says and makes little comments but doesnt discuss further.  so on christmas eve hazels dr called me from her home and discussed the head growth and she doesnt seem super concerned but is referring us to a neurologist.  im nervous but also glad to stop the 'wait and see' approach and just have a specialist look at her and tell me there is nothing wrong.  but she did say if they do an mri hazel will have to be sedated.  i do not like the thought of that one bit.  but maybe the neurologist will say there is no need.  who knows.  she is going to try to get us in as soon as possible so hopepfully i will hear next week when her appt is.  so i feel hazel is doing better physically, but i think the main concern is the jump in head growth.  in my opinion my baby isnt one of those 'oh my gosh look how huge that baby's head is' babies.  so its odd that its measuring so big.  i think it just means shes got a big smart brain like her parents :)

hazel got soooooo much stuff for christmas we are figuring out how to build more storage in the garage to keep everything in this small house.  and we still have 1 more christmas to go to on nye.  it was so fun watching her this year at christmas.  although the bags and paper really were her favorite things.  hope you all had a merry christmas and have a safe, fun nye!

I can't believe my baby is 1!

pt and dr update

my little lady is trucking along in the physical dept.  we had physical therapy a week ago and she was still refusing to put weight on her legs.  the pt seemed concerned by this and how low her tone still is all over her body (she could bend her foot back so her toes touch her shins, she still has 'slip through' when you pick her up, she sits with her legs so wide spread, etc).  so back to worrying me.  then over the week she started pulling up!  first on a cushion on the ground, then a little higher level, now this morning up in her crib :)  so yay i felt better about things!  then we had her 1 year appt yesterday.  it was traumatizing for me b/c they did a tb test, drew blood and couldnt find a vein on either arm, and then 3 shots in her legs and one bruised immediately and bled all over the place.  but the dr seemed a little concerned her head is growing faster and now in the 93%.  she measured ours and tysons is a little bit on the big side so this could be why.  but she said we are going to keep an eye on her physical condition and if she seems to still be having issues down the road (3 months? 3 years? she didnt tell me), we will do brain scans to see if there is another issue.  they like to always keep me worrying.  i dont like the wait and see approach.  but she is very smart and everything else is right on track so im hoping its nothing.  dr google had me worried all night so im trying to stay away from him.  blah!  okay off to clean and i will upload pics from the first bday party and post them :)

a few pics of my babe

october

about a week ago hazel started crawling :)  and with her laid back personality, she still prefers to sit still most of the time.  she will crawl a short distance to get something but isnt a whole house traveler yet.  shes taking it easy on us.  she is imitating a lot of sounds, blowing kisses, pointing to her nose, doing motions to songs, etc.  shes a pretty awesome baby.  shes a good eater and a good sleeper (most of the time).  and shes just smiley and happy.  sorry i need to upload pics soon and post one.

hazel's first birthday is in less than a month.  i cant believe it.  we took her to the zoo last week and i just started crying while walking to see the elephants b/c life is awesome.  im blessed with a great family and am so thankful for it.

tyson and i celebrated 5 years of marriage yesterday.  we celebrated by golfing (only for 5 out the 18 holes b/c i was whining b/c my toes and fingers were painfully frozen), massages, steak dinner, and settled into our villa with a hot tub and champagne at the end of the night.  i love that guy.

everyone have a happy halloween soon!

vent

this post is about weight.  i understand being skinny to most people wouldnt seem like a problem.  and i am thankful im not overweight b/c i know that is a struggle for some people.  but being skinny isnt always easy.  ive always been small.  i was very small in jh and hs.  i looked like i was in 5th grade when i was a junior.  i hated it.  i wanted boys to like me but no one wanted someone who looked like a child.  i would shop with mandy and our moms and cry to my mom in the dressing room b/c i couldnt fit in the gap jeans like mandy got that were so cool.  back to the kids section where there are no cool clothes for a high schooler.  then in college i gained the freshman 20 (in my case) and then thinned out a little after college when i stopped eating ramen and lipton noodle packs everyday.  i really became a pretty healthy eater after college.  people think when you eat healthy you are trying to lose weight and almost give you a hard time about it.  but i dont think noodle packets have anything in them that my body needs and i was tired of dragging everyday.  so over the past few years i get the usual comments about being thin which is fine... I am.  but at least i wasnt super stick skinny like hs.  i got pregnant and gained 35 lbs which no one ever believes that i truly did but whatevs.  now im breastfeeding and most of you know i have an altered diet b/c of hazels dairy and soy intolerance (which is really just eating extremely healthy).  with both of these things, i have become stick skinny again.  and EVERYONE loves to comment about it.  even the random customer at the hospital who isnt even my patient.  not one time, but 3 times he says something.  and the last comment that really pisses me right off is "you need to eat something".  sooo you are implying that i dont eat.  i dont care if you are big or small i dont think you should comment on size.  okay no big deal if you are trying to be nice.  like people say 'wow youre so little after having a baby'-thats fine b/c i know they are trying to compliment.  but when you are saying it in a way implying that something is wrong with my weight is rude.  i dont go around saying, "wow you are so fat"  "you really need to stop eating as much"  "do you realize how big you really are".  i think people are just idiots.  and its embarrassing to me in front of coworkers, friends, my husband, even by myself.  now i have started to become really down about my appearance.  i hate going out in public and i try to wear big clothes to avoid the nasty comments.  after college i had learned to love my little body- my no ass, no boobs, etc and i am not complaining about being small b/c like i said i know it would be difficult to be the opposite.  im upset b/c people think its okay to say negative comments about it.  and i am constantly saying "oh i only weighed like 75 lbs in hs" so they know its just my body type.  or "oh you should see how much i eat" like tonight i ate a subway sandwich, pork steak, 2 eggs, a full serving of potatoes, chips and salsa, and a piece of cake within an hour.  seriously. (again im defending myself to even you my blog followers).  why do i say these things?  i shouldnt have to be on the defense.  i should let them say their stupid nasty comments and let them think what they want.  when they make the eating comment i should say, "nah i was just going to see how long i could go without food before i die".  i wonder what their reaction would be.  maybe they would shut their big FAT mouths and ill smile with my skinny little mouth.