october

about a week ago hazel started crawling :)  and with her laid back personality, she still prefers to sit still most of the time.  she will crawl a short distance to get something but isnt a whole house traveler yet.  shes taking it easy on us.  she is imitating a lot of sounds, blowing kisses, pointing to her nose, doing motions to songs, etc.  shes a pretty awesome baby.  shes a good eater and a good sleeper (most of the time).  and shes just smiley and happy.  sorry i need to upload pics soon and post one.

hazel's first birthday is in less than a month.  i cant believe it.  we took her to the zoo last week and i just started crying while walking to see the elephants b/c life is awesome.  im blessed with a great family and am so thankful for it.

tyson and i celebrated 5 years of marriage yesterday.  we celebrated by golfing (only for 5 out the 18 holes b/c i was whining b/c my toes and fingers were painfully frozen), massages, steak dinner, and settled into our villa with a hot tub and champagne at the end of the night.  i love that guy.

everyone have a happy halloween soon!

vent

this post is about weight.  i understand being skinny to most people wouldnt seem like a problem.  and i am thankful im not overweight b/c i know that is a struggle for some people.  but being skinny isnt always easy.  ive always been small.  i was very small in jh and hs.  i looked like i was in 5th grade when i was a junior.  i hated it.  i wanted boys to like me but no one wanted someone who looked like a child.  i would shop with mandy and our moms and cry to my mom in the dressing room b/c i couldnt fit in the gap jeans like mandy got that were so cool.  back to the kids section where there are no cool clothes for a high schooler.  then in college i gained the freshman 20 (in my case) and then thinned out a little after college when i stopped eating ramen and lipton noodle packs everyday.  i really became a pretty healthy eater after college.  people think when you eat healthy you are trying to lose weight and almost give you a hard time about it.  but i dont think noodle packets have anything in them that my body needs and i was tired of dragging everyday.  so over the past few years i get the usual comments about being thin which is fine... I am.  but at least i wasnt super stick skinny like hs.  i got pregnant and gained 35 lbs which no one ever believes that i truly did but whatevs.  now im breastfeeding and most of you know i have an altered diet b/c of hazels dairy and soy intolerance (which is really just eating extremely healthy).  with both of these things, i have become stick skinny again.  and EVERYONE loves to comment about it.  even the random customer at the hospital who isnt even my patient.  not one time, but 3 times he says something.  and the last comment that really pisses me right off is "you need to eat something".  sooo you are implying that i dont eat.  i dont care if you are big or small i dont think you should comment on size.  okay no big deal if you are trying to be nice.  like people say 'wow youre so little after having a baby'-thats fine b/c i know they are trying to compliment.  but when you are saying it in a way implying that something is wrong with my weight is rude.  i dont go around saying, "wow you are so fat"  "you really need to stop eating as much"  "do you realize how big you really are".  i think people are just idiots.  and its embarrassing to me in front of coworkers, friends, my husband, even by myself.  now i have started to become really down about my appearance.  i hate going out in public and i try to wear big clothes to avoid the nasty comments.  after college i had learned to love my little body- my no ass, no boobs, etc and i am not complaining about being small b/c like i said i know it would be difficult to be the opposite.  im upset b/c people think its okay to say negative comments about it.  and i am constantly saying "oh i only weighed like 75 lbs in hs" so they know its just my body type.  or "oh you should see how much i eat" like tonight i ate a subway sandwich, pork steak, 2 eggs, a full serving of potatoes, chips and salsa, and a piece of cake within an hour.  seriously. (again im defending myself to even you my blog followers).  why do i say these things?  i shouldnt have to be on the defense.  i should let them say their stupid nasty comments and let them think what they want.  when they make the eating comment i should say, "nah i was just going to see how long i could go without food before i die".  i wonder what their reaction would be.  maybe they would shut their big FAT mouths and ill smile with my skinny little mouth.  

not to be a know it all...

but hazels dr was concerned she dropped from the 25th to 18th percentile in weight and wants me to start giving her formula once a day... what?! why suggest formula as the only option?  any of you know i have a chubby little girl.  so i researched and kellymom along with other websites say drs freak out at 6 and 9 months when the percentiles drop in breastfed babies but its normal and they are using charts based on formula fed babies.  so WHO or CDC (whatever that means) recommends using this chart as of recently and im looking and hazel is a little above the 50th percentile!!  dr wants me to call monday with the exact amount of milk im producing when pumped (i didnt do it) and start supplementing and come back for a weight check in 2 weeks.  hmmm how do i tell her no without sounding like a know it all?

a little relief

we had hazel's 9 month check up and a physical therapy appt today.  we have been working her hard the past few weeks and she is getting stronger but still brought up the weakness/low tone to my dr and pt.  they agreed she is weaker and has low tone, but in the normal range of low tone.  not a neurological concern (she already knew what i was thinking).  it was nice to hear.  i was just making sure it wasn't a symptom of something else going on.  they seemed confident in thinking its a mixture of effects from torticollis and just her personality-laid back!  she could really care less if she can't reach something or isn't moving much.  we got a lot of new things to work on strengthening her core b/c she is super weak through there.  when shes on hands and knees her back arches b/c her little belly is on the ground!  she cant get it up.  and she isn't able to move side to side or grab things to her sides.  but she was excited to see her arm and leg strength making awesome improvements.  shes had a fussy week and i think about how sore i am after a workout... maybe shes sore from us working her so hard?  poor little girl gets picked on everyday!  it will be exciting when we can someday just play and not have these constant thoughts in the back of my head of which way to place the toy or position her or stretch her neck sideways multiple times a day while she squalls.  but until then, i am just very relieved that (hopefully) she isn't going to have any long term problems.  i would love if she was crawling by 10 months but we shall see.  we will keep at it!  thanks for the prayers everyone!

the queen of all carriers

I scored an Obimama Wrap Conversion Mei Tai made from a Natibaby Mea Rosso.  

Its a beauty.. and definitely the most comfy carrier.  Isn't the hood applique so perty??

ooo I just saw it 'pinned' here.  and this is my exact carrier since they are all customs.  wow haze, we are celebs.

new wraps

poster child for torticollis

from the second she was born (well looking back at all the pics now) i feel like i should have noticed the pattern of always tilting her head the same way.  at 4 weeks i was crying constantly and telling tyce something was wrong b/c how misshapen her head and face were and tyson thought i was crazy.  id call the dr and they would reassure me and tell me to have her look to the left more.... but i was so confused b/c this is the way she always looked.  so i stuck with my gut and kept turning her head to the right.  the turn got better but the tilt was still there.  then my sister and her hub noticed it always still tilted too so at 4 months we asked the dr again and finally got referred to pt.  i feel like a bad mom for not pushing it more.  4 months of time wasted.  her physical therapist says she needs to be moving by next appt.  i would be fine if she was not crawling just for the reason of being a "late crawler".  but her little body is so floppy.  i still have to support it when i carry her  or she falls back sometimes.  she cannot put weight on her legs too long before they buckle and this is with you holding on to her (not just by her fingers) and her whole body wobbling everywhere.  no scooting, no turning in circles, no pushing herself up, no moving at all.  just sitting if i put her there or laying there if she is down.  im worried and sad.  of course you google and it says its b/c of her flat spot so im worried it hurt her brain and thats causing the delays.  although im sad, i keep telling myself there are much worse things.  she is a happy girl, a good eater, and loves to dance!  prayers please!