24 weeks

this week i had another appt. just the usual measure your belly and check heartbeat and ask if you have concerns. my hub threatened me with my life if i didnt bring up our concerns about my anxiety. this week it has taken a turn for the worse with increased heart rate and difficulty breathing. i think its induced by anticipation of work stress. its incontrollable. im actually glad i brought it up b/c the med student totally related to me! its like he found a friend! with everything i described, his eyes got wider and he kept saying, 'oh my gosh i am exactly like that.' when i was talking about people saying 'oh just dont worry about stuff so much', he said, 'well if it was that easy don't you think we would!' finally someone who understand me (besides a counselor). the dr seemed more concerned that i thought necessary. i guess with pregnancy they take it seriously in case people get depressed. mine isnt depression... just anxiety. so she took down a list of all the depression/anxiety meds ive been on over the years and stated that if it didnt get better that they would strongly suggest taking something. she doesnt want it to affect my eating or sleeping. well it has never affected my eating. and i havent slept through the night for almost 10 years or more so im totally used to it. (i didnt tell her that part) she wants me to go back to a counselor. but i dont wanna spend the money. and she wants me to go back in 2 weeks. again i said no b/c i dont have enough time to be taking off work. ha i guess im just a defiant patient. i will continue walking and breathing and relaxation techniques (dont seem to help in my opinion). and ive just been trying to keep busy with getting things ready for bullet. lots of yard work, work on his room, and this week i bought waaaay too many clothes for the little booger. :) today was a little better day. im hoping i can keep focused on baby and not work! oh and i was concerned b/c his movement had seemed to become less over the past few days. but she said my anxiety and stress will not affect the baby at all so one less thing to 'worry' about. well i better get busy with house work to keep my mind off stupid things! have a great week all!!