8 weeks and 1 day

so here is my recent history for those of you who don't know:

july 8-positive pregnancy test

july 9-hcg of 35

july 12- hcg of 187 (only has to double from the first number and went up x6!!)

july 16- hcg of 870 ish (dont remember exact number but still looking great)

gone on vaca next week so couldnt do my 5 week u/s

july 26- 6w0d u/s measuring 5w0d. we were concerned b/c we know exactly when i ovulate so dates shouldnt be off but everyone seemed like it was normal to be off

aug 2- 7w0d u/s #2 measured 6w0d. heartbeat 89. good that the baby grew exactly a week in a week but nervous about low hb. but hb starts around 80 so again everyone says it could have just started.

aug 10- 8w1d u/s #3 measured smaller than last week and no hb. when i asked why it would be smaller rather than just stop growing and she said it starts "disintegrating". that term made us about puke.

are hearts are broken for the 4th time. we have lost a lot of hope b/c they said chances after 4 losses aren't good. we talked about possible causes of why and she mentioned possibly "bad eggs" is the most common when no other tests show up. we've been giggling b/c tyson thought she would say something in me isn't fully developed b/c im so small, but instead i might have eggs of a 50 year old. funny how i hit puberty at like 18 and all the good eggs are gone already. guess i shoulda got knocked up in high school if i wanted kids. sperm and egg donors were brought up and just a lot of overwhelming decisions. ill have a d&c friday and they will test the fetus. pray that i do not m/c naturally before then (funny how i asked for the exact opposite last time). im pretty nervous to go under friday, but ready for some answers hopefully. time for a nap now b/c my brain is killing me! happy day people.

dont wanna go back

why cant i finish all the touch-ups from my house project? i havent organized my closets or done all those things on my summer to do list. i didnt even read a book!!! man i suck at life. i guess ill just continue to lay on the couch and watch e! until school starts.

due date number 1

Crazy to think that today is my 1st due date. Crazy to think that we could have a little infant in our house right now completely changing our lives. We would have a nursery, swings, carseats, no sleep :), etc. Me and my friend Jayme could be celebrating our little infants together! (and hopefully tyka soon too) I have too many due dates now to even keep track of. But I especially remember this first one. Today is my great gma kallal's bday, my cousin nathan's bday, and schylar's bday. A great day to celebrate life! I am trying my best to not constantly wonder what God's plan for me is... why? when? what do we do next? thinking about stopping for awhile sounded like the best plan, but then I think how we are so ready for this baby!! and so we stop trying for a few years then when we start again its back to drs and back on medicine and still possibly go through all this again!! I am having a hard time with that decision right now but I guess we will talk to our dr and make the best decision.

I have a big day ahead of me-Kim and I are making BLT dip and a peach pie, possibly getting pedicures, and laying by the pool. Then going to meet baby mason and celebrating mark's retirement before heading to my brother's big bday bash! Then the rest of the weekend is family time!! Love to all!

TN

We had a wonderful time on our trip! We kept busy, but relaxed a lot too! Here are some of the things we did: ate A LOT, went to dixie stampede, walked around to lots of different shops, got an old time photo, took a sky lift thing above the city, golfed, ate A LOT more, shopped, drove through the mountains and took a walk up to a waterfall, saw bears and other wildlife, napped, played putt putt, and took a helicopter ride over the smokies. It actually only rained at night and in the early morning a few days, so we were lucky to have great weather the whole week. I'll try to post some pics soon.

I loved yesterdays sermon at church. It was about God answering prayers... you just have to ask. I'm praying!!!

Have a great day all! xo

wanna see the weather for our vaca??!

http://www.weather.com/weather/tenday/USTN0196

haha yep rain EVERYday! oh well it could change! and i wont mind sitting on the porch reading a book watching the rain in the smokies :) RELAXATION!! have a great week all!! xo

photo booth pics from a wedding recently

me and tyce

me, my stepmom diane, my sister renee

me and my sister

tv rules my life

whats your favorite show? my new favs are hot in cleveland and bethenny married. when a show makes me "LOL", its a keeper. of course i still love housewives of (any) county and kourtney and khloe take miami. gotta love sisters who wax/burn each others vaginas.

while i was laid up for the past few days, i came across some other crazy shows. toddlers and tiaras-holy crap! and today i forced tyson to watch this show called "i didnt know i was pregnant". who would have thought that there are so many women in the world who go through nine months of pregnancy and dont feel a thing. not even a kick? that show is a little unbelievable and definitely won't be on the dvr list anytime soon.

k now its time to lay down and watch chelsea lately. can you tell i havent met my goal of reading a few books this summer? :)