busy relaxing weekend

i was so excited to do nothing this weekend but there is always something. it still has been relaxing though. friday i really did nothing and i loved it-me and house hunters international for hours with the puppies trying to share my lap. saturday we did the gym thing and then anna came over and i made her french toast and we watched greys. that night we went to popeyes chop house with mandy and schy and filled our bellies! its always a fun time with them. today we went to east fork for church. we both came outta there revived and i was singing 'trust and obey'. then we made it home just in time for the bears game. i made wings, dip, and pickle roll ups. mmmm. now we are getting ready to go visit my nephews and then going to see the dilemma. tomorrow we were supposed to go shopping but hes backing out on me. probably a good idea i stay home and clean anyway. so like i said it was relaxing but i never feel like we stop! im just glad we dont have any 'plans' til valentines weekend. i need some time off! have a great sundee everyone! dana loves you a lot :)

hodge podge

so i thought tonight we were just going to get our picture for the paper and present the $10,000 check to MCCA, but somehow renee, zach, and i are now on the board! what! im happy to be a part of an awesome organization. the pressure is on!

so while i was sitting in the parking lot waiting for at least one of my siblings to arrive i was looking up into the sky and thinking about my ronsie and thinking how TRULY proud i know he is of us. big props to zach for forming this whole thing. but i was thinking of my special connection i had with him and still do. we always had nicknames and special silly things we did. silly things that mean nothing to anyone else but i remember things like he would alway give me foot a high five when passing through the living room. he would always give me "2 more minutes" to sleep every morning before school. we watched judge judy after school b/c he like that show. we called each other "buddy" a lot the last few years he was here. of course for my whole life him and my bros have called me "rose". he was always my "ronsie" or sometimes to my friends i would call him "myron" b/c i would accidentally say my mom and my ron a lot. when i couldnt do a back roll in kindergarten he was the one who helped me and taught me. my mom worked later and he was always there so he taught me lots! he taught me the one prayer i still say every night. i remember when he surprised me at school with my new car :) in his cool blue postal uniform. yes i cruised with my stepdad that day after school with the sunroof open. he already had my radio programmed. and every time he had brain surgery he would wear this bracelet i had that said "health" on it. and at the very end i held it in his hand for him we he couldnt. i hate thinking about that night... he was probably the most significant and special guy in my life besides my hub. he was the bomb and i know he is SO proud that we are making a positive from him! (whoa sorry didn't mean to get all mushy gushy on you there)

so on a different note, here is another quote i saw on bbc and liked! xoxo

Fear and faith may seem like opposites, but they have something in common: both ask us to believe something we cannot see

my brain likes to do the thinking... or maybe its my heart

today my mind has been going. you know that happens every once in awhile. even when ive been thinking lately at least ive been emotionally in a good place. i was reading a thread today on bbc and all the fear of m/c came back to me. it was someone who had another m/c and just reading her story reminded me of the fear and heartbreak of it all. although every time we tell ourselves to be emotionally prepared for another m/c and to not get our hopes up it never works that way. you truly think 'this is it! its the one! its gonna work!' i am ready for baby SOOOOO much, but im just not ready to go through that again.... but when would you ever be ready for that again? i have had hope that eventually some day we WILL have kids from our genes that i carry full term in my little belly. but today i got to thinking again and you never really know what will happen. although i wish i was pregnant this month, its kind of a relief when i get my period. its like 'ahh, i get to relax for a few weeks' before i start thinking 'omg could i be pregnant this month?!' but then i get on bbc and calculate a due date for next cycle b/c trying for a baby is still fun. its still exciting to think about when a baby could be here. then you scroll down and see how it grows each week and i just have this feeling of 'oh my gosh i just want that so bad' when it says 18 weeks you can feel your baby kicking. i want it SO bad. i think thats what a lot of people dont understand about this journey, not only do i want a child but pregnancy is a HUGE thing too that i want to experience. and birth. that experience you will never forget with your husband by your side. how freaking amazing!!!! so thats my mind today. wants and fears. but i guess thats what i have to go through to get to little healthy baby holshouser. someday. hopefully someday in 2011 :)

soldier down

my poor baby hubcap got hurt today. he was at the gym over working himself like always. he was doing pull ups and pushing himself to do just one more... the next thing he knew he was waking up face first on the ground. im thinking he wasn't breathing or something. he looks like he got in a fight with the huge knot on his eye. he said he woke up and stumbling around not knowing what was going on. no one was in the weight room to see it. its a little funny but really sad when you see his eye.

snow day for me of course. it was nice to sleep in and catch up on my shows. we just did some grocery shopping and gonna start supper soon. this weekend at SOC we made close to $10,000! we are very excited it was such a great success! thanks to all who donated and came to support our event! hopefully each year it will be bigger and better! have a great winter wonderland day all!

tonight... tonight

the auction table looks beautiful. we have close to 50 auction items and this is combining many of the things given to us. i can't believe how generous people are. and we had our first bidder at 10 am start a bid at $100. woot woot. im excited :) im gonna take some time to relax before tonight b/c its gonna be a loooooong night!!

stamp out cancer

hope you are all ready for SOC!! we have so many AWESOME auction items! and its just gonna be a freaking blast. annnnnnd we got 4 of those tall heater things for outside so the overflow crowd or smokers wont freeze :) cant wait to see you all there!!!

sickie poo poo

today i stayed home from work... and i probably shoulda went. but you know when you first wake up with a fever and your whole body hurts and you just cant even stretch without feeling all your bones are gonna break? thats how i was. i was feverish yesterday and had taken tylenol before bed. i woke up at like 3 am with a fever again but couldnt move to get meds. i felt better after tyson got home and gave me meds. dr said its either a cold or pneumonia. he said wait it out and if my temp goes up its pneumonia. i asked doesnt temp mean infection? he said yes but didnt seem to do anything about it. this is why i hate wasting my $ to go to the dr for them to do nothing. grrrr seriously one of my biggest pet peeves. i thought if there is a possibility of pneumonia i would get a chest xray. oh well i guess ill just die of pneumonia like britney murphy and her husband since no one listens to me. so ive just been relaxing and keeping up on tylenol. ive slowly been doing the dishes so my house is clean for the stamp out cancer team to get all the auction items ready. we have had so many awesome people and businesses donate things and even some of them reached out to us to want to give!! its gonna be really hard to decide what i want! i wanna bid on everything!! okay i better get a nap in before aunt gaye comes over to help me decorate tip jars! goodnight!