the 4 dreaded pills

so appt #578 didn't go so well today. let me start off with telling you that last night I was up all night with bad cramps and then this morning I passed like 3 clots and I have red blood now (not brown-which means old blood) so I totally thought I passed more of it and we were on the way to a positive outcome! so I was in a great mood heading up to the dr and she sticks that dildo looking thing in me and BAM... the whole fucking sac is still in there just chugging along. she said it looked about the same size so I'm glad it isn't still growing. but why in the hell am I passing clots and some that are pretty good size?? they said its my lining shedding. thats a lot of lining if you ask me. so dr kind of seems to be leaning toward d&c, but she says it won't hurt to wait longer and see if it will happen on its own. to me, I am already bleeding and cramping (which together mean m/c) so my body is doing what it needs to... I guess its just slower than most people. so she sent me home with some more induction meds and now I'm laying horizontal for the next few hours praying for this to come. next appt is monday for yet another u/s (let me remind you these are almost $200 each time I get one and I am having to take off work all the time-little stressful). then wednesday is my specialist appt. til then I will be in a hole having a pity party. I am going to try to make it to my roommate reunion but don't feel so energetic! hope everyone has a good week.