results

all normal. bloodwork, urine analysis, and chest xray all normal. he is doing an immunology test on me to see if anything shows up but i know it wont b/c my RE already did that on me. so absolutely no answer to why ive had a fever so long or been sick so long. ill keep taking the drugs though.

i had a phone conference with my RE as well today. so while i was getting my immunology test for dr she had them draw some more blood for another recheck of tsh and prolactin levels. next month we start clomid. if no luck after 3 months, another dreaded hsg (painful catheter with dye to light up your uterus like the 4th of july + u/s) and FINALLY a sperm analysis on tyce. these were all her suggestions and i was very pleased b/c that was the plan in my head anyway.

now im waiting for tyce to get up and we are gonna go have din din with my mom and her bf. tomorrow's agenda-colby's pizza bday party and then casino (booo). hopefully some time for naps in this weekend too! love you blog world!

my health

so after having a fever on and off for a month, i caved and went back to the dr. i took tylenol this morning like usual, but didnt at lunch time so they could see my fever was 101.5 and it hadnt even been 6 hours since my last dose. i didnt wanna go back b/c they usually tell me to fight if off even though ive got green stuff going on and fever-hello INFECTION! well today i saw a dr. a real dr! not a dr that talks about rainbows and unicorns and baselines and research. a dr who listened to my every little concern for the past few months and had an answer for everything. thank you dr bob. but the bad thing is i went alone and needles were involved! EEK! he also had me pee in a cup and go to the hospital for chest xrays. so he covered every area. he said fevers shouldn't last that long. its probably nothing. if you know me, i get a fever when i get a cold. my body does not like sickness, but it sure happens to me often. and he gave me a strong antibiotic. its a 'cousin' to penicillin so lets see if my throat swells up :) and on the bottle it says diarrhea could last up to weeks or months after taking this! sounds fun! whatever it takes for this fever to go away. i feel like my bones are breaking! oh and i asked the xray tech if radiation can scramble or fry my eggs :) so she 'shielded' my baby-maker! ha! k after that 2 hour trip im down for a nap and getting some fever reducer in this body. i will let you all know my results in a few days. ps heather, thanks for listening to all my randomness today xo!

screw cpc!!!!

Dear Central Parking Chicago,

You suck! This is the real letter I'd like to send you. You and Walter B can go F yourselves for giving me a false ticket. And yes, I will continue to writing you letters and fighting this measly $65 ticket. Sure, threaten to impound or immobilize my car. Then send me letters from your attorneys. I DONT CARE!!!! B/c why should I have to pay for something that I did not do! The people wanna be heard! Walter B's word against mine! Walter B could go stomping around to every car in the lot saying they have their receipts face down and they owe $65. Well guess what Walter, this chick isn't taking it! My 3-inch, snow-filled windsheild that was untouched shows me you didnt even check! So I might not have a car tomorrow, or maybe I'll go to jail for a month, and maybe I'll go bankrupt from court and lawyer bills, but I will not back down! I have rights! And I wanna be heard!!

Screw you,

Dana Holshouser

ouch

my entire body hurts. it just aches. every inch. i felt achy the past 2 days but when i take my temp its fine. its getting a lot worse as the day goes on. so we havent done anything this weekend really. laid around last night, went to stl today but had to come home early b/c i couldnt even hardly walk (i was so excited to shop too :( ), i took a little nap when we got home and laid in bed for 3 hrs. im hoping i feel better by tomorrow b/c i have tysons gpas bday party and i have missed so many family events lately b/c im always sick! im going to continue to lay low and get this body in tip top shape. hope everyone else is having a nice weekend xo

busy relaxing weekend

i was so excited to do nothing this weekend but there is always something. it still has been relaxing though. friday i really did nothing and i loved it-me and house hunters international for hours with the puppies trying to share my lap. saturday we did the gym thing and then anna came over and i made her french toast and we watched greys. that night we went to popeyes chop house with mandy and schy and filled our bellies! its always a fun time with them. today we went to east fork for church. we both came outta there revived and i was singing 'trust and obey'. then we made it home just in time for the bears game. i made wings, dip, and pickle roll ups. mmmm. now we are getting ready to go visit my nephews and then going to see the dilemma. tomorrow we were supposed to go shopping but hes backing out on me. probably a good idea i stay home and clean anyway. so like i said it was relaxing but i never feel like we stop! im just glad we dont have any 'plans' til valentines weekend. i need some time off! have a great sundee everyone! dana loves you a lot :)

hodge podge

so i thought tonight we were just going to get our picture for the paper and present the $10,000 check to MCCA, but somehow renee, zach, and i are now on the board! what! im happy to be a part of an awesome organization. the pressure is on!

so while i was sitting in the parking lot waiting for at least one of my siblings to arrive i was looking up into the sky and thinking about my ronsie and thinking how TRULY proud i know he is of us. big props to zach for forming this whole thing. but i was thinking of my special connection i had with him and still do. we always had nicknames and special silly things we did. silly things that mean nothing to anyone else but i remember things like he would alway give me foot a high five when passing through the living room. he would always give me "2 more minutes" to sleep every morning before school. we watched judge judy after school b/c he like that show. we called each other "buddy" a lot the last few years he was here. of course for my whole life him and my bros have called me "rose". he was always my "ronsie" or sometimes to my friends i would call him "myron" b/c i would accidentally say my mom and my ron a lot. when i couldnt do a back roll in kindergarten he was the one who helped me and taught me. my mom worked later and he was always there so he taught me lots! he taught me the one prayer i still say every night. i remember when he surprised me at school with my new car :) in his cool blue postal uniform. yes i cruised with my stepdad that day after school with the sunroof open. he already had my radio programmed. and every time he had brain surgery he would wear this bracelet i had that said "health" on it. and at the very end i held it in his hand for him we he couldnt. i hate thinking about that night... he was probably the most significant and special guy in my life besides my hub. he was the bomb and i know he is SO proud that we are making a positive from him! (whoa sorry didn't mean to get all mushy gushy on you there)

so on a different note, here is another quote i saw on bbc and liked! xoxo

Fear and faith may seem like opposites, but they have something in common: both ask us to believe something we cannot see

my brain likes to do the thinking... or maybe its my heart

today my mind has been going. you know that happens every once in awhile. even when ive been thinking lately at least ive been emotionally in a good place. i was reading a thread today on bbc and all the fear of m/c came back to me. it was someone who had another m/c and just reading her story reminded me of the fear and heartbreak of it all. although every time we tell ourselves to be emotionally prepared for another m/c and to not get our hopes up it never works that way. you truly think 'this is it! its the one! its gonna work!' i am ready for baby SOOOOO much, but im just not ready to go through that again.... but when would you ever be ready for that again? i have had hope that eventually some day we WILL have kids from our genes that i carry full term in my little belly. but today i got to thinking again and you never really know what will happen. although i wish i was pregnant this month, its kind of a relief when i get my period. its like 'ahh, i get to relax for a few weeks' before i start thinking 'omg could i be pregnant this month?!' but then i get on bbc and calculate a due date for next cycle b/c trying for a baby is still fun. its still exciting to think about when a baby could be here. then you scroll down and see how it grows each week and i just have this feeling of 'oh my gosh i just want that so bad' when it says 18 weeks you can feel your baby kicking. i want it SO bad. i think thats what a lot of people dont understand about this journey, not only do i want a child but pregnancy is a HUGE thing too that i want to experience. and birth. that experience you will never forget with your husband by your side. how freaking amazing!!!! so thats my mind today. wants and fears. but i guess thats what i have to go through to get to little healthy baby holshouser. someday. hopefully someday in 2011 :)